


Worth One's Salt

by Robottko



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: April Fools' Day, Cotton Candy Fluff, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Poor Sebastian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-18
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-04-09 22:06:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4365944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robottko/pseuds/Robottko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anyone who spent more than five minutes around Sebastian Moran knew that the man had a sweet tooth.<br/>Or: The one with the salty coffee</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worth One's Salt

**Author's Note:**

> This fic, inspired by a popular [tumblr post](http://rpfunstuff.tumblr.com/post/114578134176/imagine-person-a-of-your-otp-switching-the-sugar), is a gift for one of my favorite mutuals [reconditechief](http://reconditechief.tumblr.com/). (and whom you should follow immediately because they are wonderful)  
> I've owed Evan a fic for ages, but I'm trash and haven't written it yet. I hope this one is passable???

Anyone who spent more than five minutes around Sebastian Moran knew that the man had a sweet tooth. It didn't matter the time of day, sugar was the most important ingredient in his meals.

Sebastian always had something sweet on hand, and Jim had seen him eating candy during meals, after brushing his teeth, and in bed. He had even caught him eating candy floss during work, letting the sugar melt on his tongue as he watched a foreign dignitary through the scope on his gun. It would be rather annoying, if it wasn't so endearing.

Yes, Sebastian Moran had a sweet tooth alright, and there was nothing he liked sweeter than his coffee. The rougher the previous day had been, the more sugar Sebastian used. After the incident at Bart's, (which Sebastian had taken to calling it, usually accompanied by a glare) he had poured half a jar of sugar into his drink, causing Jim (who had accidentally taken a sip) to complain of impending cavities for a week.

Perhaps Jim shouldn't have messed with Sebastian's morning coffee, or his love of sugar, but what would April fool’s day be without a little danger?

 

* * *

 

 

The 31st of March was spent causing trouble. They had organized two government coups, three bank robberies and indirectly caused three assassinations.

It was all great fun for Jim, who nearly got shot twice, but Sebastian didn't seem to be having a good time at all. Making sure Jim didn't get grievously injured or killed was a full time job in itself, and Jim was being far more reckless than normal, so when they arrived home for the evening, Sebastian sent himself straight to bed, not noticing the mischievous glint in Jim Moriarty's eyes.

Jim got to work quickly, hiding all the sugar in their flat. He tucked the bags (yes, _bags_ ) behind various objects, making sure they were in places that Sebastian would never look. It was only then that Jim replaced the sugar in Sebastian’s sugar jar.

He dumped the sugar into the bin, taking care to not allow any of it to be visible. Then, he filled the jar to the top with finely ground salt, screwing on the top and placing it exactly when Sebastian had left it the morning before.

The waiting for Sebastian to wake up was the worst part, if Jim was to be honest. He wasn't a patient man, and he soon took to pacing, glaring at the clock every few minutes or so.  It didn't help.

Eventually though, shuffling could be heard as Sebastian woke up, and Jim busied himself on his computer, pretending to be fully engrossed as Sebastian shuffled into the room, looking as if he had been hit by a lorry.

Sebastian pulled out the bag of pre-ground coffee beans, dumping them into the coffee filter haphazardly. A bit spilled on the counter, which Sebastian brushed onto the floor.

"Cleanliness is next to Godliness," Jim said faux-absentmindedly as he watches the coffee grounds flutter downwards.

"Well, it's a good thing that I'm a sick sonnuvabitch, innit?" Sebastian said with a sleep roughened voice as he started to brew the coffee.

Jim could barely suppress a grin as the coffee brewed, casually looking over at the "sugar" jar every couple of seconds. Sebastian kept giving him odd looks, raising a questioning eyebrow at Jim, and huffing when Jim refused to acknowledge him.

Sebastian grabbed his favourite mug down from the top shelf as soon as the coffee slowed to a trickle, and he filled his mug to the sound of hissing drips, too lazy to wait for the coffee to completely stop brewing.

When his mug was full, he replaced the pot, turning to the jar sitting on the table innocuously. Jim watched as Sebastian dumped the contents of the jar into the black coffee, stirring as he went.

"What are you looking at?" Sebastian asked as soon as he had dumped over half the jar's contents into his coffee.

Jim blinked, unaware that he had been staring. He gave Sebastian a shrug, which only served to annoy him further. Of course, that made Sebastian add more "sugar" to his coffee.

"Careful, or you'll end up with a cavity," Jim said, grinning as Sebastian lifted the mug to his lips.

"Oh, hush," Sebastian said, rolling his eyes. "You're acting kind of weird this morning."

Sebastian took a sip of his coffee and immediately froze, his eyes widening in horror as black, salty coffee assaulted his tongue. His cheeks puffed as he attempted not to reflexively spit it out, and his eyes found Jim immediately, who was too busy laughing that he didn't notice the death glare Sebastian gave him.

Jim wiped tears of mirth from his eyes, looking up just in time to see Sebastian swallow his mouthful of salty coffee. Sometime indecipherable flickered in Sebastian's eyes, and Jim only had a second to ponder what it meant, when the bastard _smirked_ and lifted the cup once more.

Jim watched as Sebastian began to chug the salty coffee, his eyes never leaving Jim’s face. Jim watched Sebastian’s adam’s apple bob as he quickly drank, finishing every drop in the mug before taking a large gasp of a breath.

Sebastian then made his way to the sink, setting his mug down with care before turning towards Jim once again, a dangerous glint in his eyes.

“If you ever do that again, I will tie you down and force you to drink a whole _pot_ of salty-as-the-fucking-ocean coffee,” He warns good-naturedly.

“Down, tiger.” Jim smiled brightly, his heart racing with fresh adrenaline. “It was merely an April fool’s prank.”

Sebastian narrowed his eyes in response, crossing his arms across his chest. “Never again, boss.”

Jim just smiled, flouncing out of the sitting room with a smug air. Sebastian would pay him back later, of course. Dousing Jim’s fish and chips in sugar might be dangerous, but it was a risk that Sebastian was willing to take.


End file.
